On Little Mermaids and Realized Desires

(Yes folks, the blog is back. After a very brief sabbatical (caused by not finding the time to get down to write), this blog is back to it's traditional three-posts-a-month entries. So without further ado, here is something that I have been meaning to write about for a very long time. Enjoy!)


Without a doubt, my favorite movie of all time is Disney's The Little Mermaid. It is the first movie I ever remember watching and it has had an incredibly profound effect on me, especially when I was much younger. At first, the enchantment came from images of magical merpeople, Ursula and Triton's supernatural powers, and thoughts of another world beyond what I had initially experienced. That movie eventually inspired me to become a magician and mystic in the most gradual of senses.But it was more than fantasy tangible to my senses that inspired me from this movie. It was also the central plot of the story.


Ariel is not content to exist as a siren like the rest of her family, nor is he content with the world she lives in. She feels a deep calling within herself to explore reaches of space that are far beyond her physical abilities to accomplish. She is fascinated by the things she does not understand and she wants to know more. She desires adventure, excitement, and daring escapades in her life to fill the void she feels. Naturally, her family does not understand her vocation, despite their loving efforts, and her friends (while happy to support her) are not the most daring nor helpful friends one can find, given their small statures. Ariel feels as if she cannot truly relate to the world around her and as such, she dares to broaden her horizons.


By chance, Ariel discovers and rescues a human being, the encounter drawing her further into fascination with her desire. Sadly, her family doesn't understand and Ariel, tired of dreaming, decides to take matters into her own hands and magically changes herself to fit her desire. Now finally able to live her dream, Ariel finds happiness. Unfortunately, she is met with great adversity, but Ariel will not give up. She fights as hard as she can to fulfill her desire, and when she cannot fight any longer, her man nips her problem in the butt with the mast of a ship. At the calm of the storm, Ariel is given a second chance to fulfill her dream and she ends up living happily ever after.


What a whimsical story filled with hope for a child. That movie inspired me to try to live out my dreams and I have been doing a pretty good job of that so far. What a nice idea? To follow your dreams despite the odds that present themselves and end up living happily ever after is truly a wonderful and hopeful message that has served me well. Thank you Disney.


A while back, I watched this movie again after a long time of not knowing where it was, and I wholeheartedly expected to be as enthralled as before. For some reason, the message did not ring true again. This time, I was left with a feeling of disappointment. Everything about the film was the same, don't get me wrong. It's just that the same story that inspired me to pursue the impossible so long ago now left me with a bittersweet taste in my mouth.


Instead of seeing a powerful young woman that took control of her life and weathered the storm to attain her heart's desire, I saw something completely different. I saw a hormonal little girl who had everything she could ever want but still would not be satiated from her lust for greener pastures. I saw a troublesome and rebellious child that a no mind for her responsibilities, no concern for a family that loved her, friends that would die for her, or her world, a world of deep, pure magic. Ariel simply cannot be swayed that the Utopian society she lives in is truly worthy of her, so she looks for something she thinks is better (when given comparison, it isn't).


Then to top it off, Ariel has no control over her sexual desires and immediately believes her lust for a man that she has never even spoken to to be true love. Heaven forbid her father (who loves her to pieces) try to persuade her otherwise, she is going to have her way or throw a tantrum and run away like a spoiled brat instead of trying to resolve her relationship with her family. Then she practically says: "There is a sea witch in town who can make everything better? Oh boy! I better jump on that bandwagon!" and ends up trading her voice (her best feature, mind you) for magical plastic surgery. So instead of being a beautiful mermaid princess who can speak her mind and voice her opinions, Ariel has become an ordinary human girl without a dime to her name and no way to even express herself.


Of course, we are dealing with Disney here and Ariel's hopeful beau, Prince Eric, finds her by chance and takes her in without a second thought, but they actually fall in love despite the fact that Ariel cannot even function on her own in his world.


Things get bad and Eric ends up being mind-raped by the shape shifting sea witch and after a struggle aboard a wedding ship involving a myriad of sea creatures, Ariel's voice is restored too late for her dream to come to fruition. Then things escalate as every person (or animal) that Ariel has ever loved throw themselves in harms way against Ursula with Ariel nearly being vaporized by Ursula's Trident blast, only to have Eric save the day by impaling the sea witch. Triton them goes to bring Ariel back into a human and marry Eric and the rest is history. UGH! What a disappointing story!


Our title heroine has remained a static character the entire picture and did not deserve her happy ending. Ariel did not take responsibility and vanquish Ursula herself. Eric did. Ariel didn't learn a hard lesson about thankfulness or appreciating the people in her life who sacrificed themselves to protect her and she certainly did not even say "Thank You" to her father for giving in in the end. Ariel was and remains a spoiled brat accustomed to having her way by the time the movie is finished. But this is not just a negative movie review. Far from it. There is a message behind my new-found criticisms.

The point I am trying to make here is that beyond our immediate desires, wishes, lusts, and what have you is usually a great life that we are completely missing out on because we are too focused on those things that we do not believe we have. We ask for miracles all the time and actually receive them, only to never realize they have come about. Then we keep spending our energy with wishing and never realize how wonderful our lives truly are.

Ariel is a beautiful princess mermaid with a gorgeous voice, a loving family, the best friends that one could ask for, lives a life of constant adventure, is adored by all in her world, and lives in an undersea utopia. Surely that would be better than most people in the real world could ask for. But for some reason, it does not satisfy Disney's red headed heroine an she ends up running away from home, betraying her loved ones, consorting with evil people, and nearly gets herself killed. All of that for a dream that even she is not even sure she deserves. But of course, being Disney, Ariel naturally has a happy ending despite her lack of perception.

The same thing with so many people in our world. How many times have you seen tabloids describe celebrities who have millions of dollars, are loved by the masses, have loving and extremely attractive partners, and blossoming careers yet are always making the worst decisions in their lives. This even occurs with the common man as well, even more frequently. Surely this must stop.

A guru might argue that it is because these people desire things of a worldly nature, they will never find satisfaction and so continue in a cycle of unhappiness, but I do not completely agree with this.

In a neopagan circle a few weeks ago, I was asked to intuit a message from God Herself and I was told that my desires were not egocentric nor unworthy of me. My desires, in fact, supported the divine agenda. As I contemplated this message later on, I realized that all desires to better one's self and find happiness support the divine agenda. They all lead to the attainment of Divine Realization and possibly Deification in the long run. Sadly, when these desires are not met, people tend to make unwise decisions in the belief that they will never have their desires realized.

In my own life, I dreamed of being a magical adventurer for most of my life. I wanted to travel to the reaches of the universe, battle monsters and find something numinous. Afterwards, I found in me a natural talent in Astral Projection and began journeying through the Astral Plane doing the things I had wished for. For some reason, however, I was not satisfied. I wanted to travel in my physical body, not an astral body of light. As such, I missed out on even greater experiences because I was never thankful for what I had received. It wasn't even until recently that I even realized this fact. Pity.

Our desires have already been met. Divinity, inherent in us all, is the beginning and end of all desires. It is the source from which we live, move, and have our being. As such, we already have all we could ask for, though we often do not realize it. It is time to be thankful for the things we have. It is time to acknowledge that we grant our own wishes daily.

LVX Amor!

On Stars and Streetlights

"We want our egos to be our allies, not our slaves or masters." --T. Thorn Coyle

A couple of weeks ago, I was at my job on a short cigarette break. I go outside to see waxing moon that was almost full, but even more so, the amount of stars I had seen around my house the night before when I wasn't working had appeared to diminish. Good old light poullution huh?

A co worker then came outside shortly after me and commented the same thing, saying that barely any stars were out tonight. I replied saying that the stars were always there, save for the fact that our man-made lights were blotting out their appearance in the sky. And as I said those words, I had an epiphany of sorts. It was actually very cool.

I have heard it said that the voice of the Highest Self is very soft and is usually blocked out by the Ego. That we need to be very quiet and listen with discernment to make out the voice of the Holy Guardian Angel. From there, we will see the brilliance of our own divine natures.

In my own studies, I have found that the Highest Self/God Soul/Holy Guardian Angel corresponds with the highest chakra: the Sahasrara. The seat of divine consciousness and spirituality. The Ego corresponds with the Aura which is none other than the emission of all the six lower chakras radiating from a person to create a field of energy about them.

This Aura, this Luciferean light, is quite bright. Were more people clairvoyant, they would feel strain looking at the masses of auras of other people. However, the Light of the Highest Self in the Sahasrara is much brighter, though it's brilliance is dimmed by the aura's emanation.

Just light a street light is really bright up close compared to a star which would incinerate us within thousands (if not millions) of miles to it's proximity; so does the Ego's light pale in comparison to the light of the God Soul.

Does that strike a bell? It should. Cause in the same way that our man made lights blot out starlight, so does our own light based on earthly needs, blot out the shining of our divine selves. And if one were to see past the light of their own projections, they would behold a greater luminescence of spirit that far outshines the Ego.

But does that mean that the Ego is evil? No! It is a construct in man that is of great use to him. Just as streetlights were made to give us light, so does the ego help us. However, just as streetlights are not the end all to light in the night sky, neither is the Ego the end all to our spiritual luminescence.

As the quote says at the top of this post: The Ego should be our ally, not our slave nor our master. If artifical light of man can be used to help us in darkness, so can the auric light be of use to us should we use it responsibly.

That is one of the big challenges of being human. Flawed, yet Divine.

LVX Amor!

On Spirit and Storytelling

I have heard the argument of: If God is Omnibenevolent (infinitely good), then how come so much evil exists in the world? And there are many arguments for this. The most common is that Satan (or some other adversarial force) exists and as such we are tempted to do bad things which cause others misery. Another argument I have heard over the years (which I am inclined to agree with) is that evil is born from human beings feeling such disconnection to the Divine that their desires get warped and in their quest for happiness (which is the human dilemma) they begin to believe that doing things that normal people would consider appalling will be for their greater joy. And then there is another theory. One that makes the most sense to me. Allow me to share.

I call it: the Storytelling Theory; and to put it simply, a man's life is a story being told by God/Spirit/Man's Superconscious. You might think that this sounds strange. I think it will take a little more elaboration than just that one sentence.

We all tell stories. Sometimes they are lies we make up to cover our misdeeds. Sometimes they are thought patterns we tell ourselves that reinforce old beliefs. And then we tell fictional stories to people around us in the hopes of entertaining others. You need not be a Pulitzer winning novelist in order to make a good story. You just need to have the desire to convey an idea to another.

All good stories are about an event that occurred in the author's imagination and they usually revolve around a central figure, force, or person who plays a major role in the event. And all good stories require some form of conflict.

But take the fairy tale of Cinderella for example. If Cindy had no troubles in her life, no conflict had no evil stepmother, no difficulty getting to the ball and winning the heart of Prince Charming, or any kind of conflict with being able to marry him, what would the story have been? It would have been about a girl whom never grew up or evolved. The heroine wouldn't have had any trouble fulfilling her role. And if she grew up not having conflict in her life, having all her needs met and then becomes a princess, the readers of the story would think that she didn't deserve her upliftment in society nor any of the rewards given to her.

The solution was to give her trouble. Cinderella is born without knowing her mother and is abused by her step-mother whom forbids her from going to the ball. On top of that, her inherent beauty is hidden by the ashes of the fireplace where she is forced to sleep. Then through some miracle (either fairy godmother, magic tree and birds, enchanted fish or what not since this part of the story changes with each retelling in the different cultures) Cinderella is amazed by her chance to attend the ball where her beauty is seen by all and in her newfound grace, she enchants Prince Charming and through the test of placing on the glass slipper, she is able to move past her terrible upbringing and live a truly enchanted life.

What was the point of Cinderella's conflict? In the beginning she is mourning loss and she is unaware of her beauty and the power of her faith. When her faith manifests the magic allowing her to go to the ball, Cinderella is able to see her beauty and be uplifted by that, and from the loss of her mother and all the love that would have brought, Cinderella is brought back to find love in the Prince and lives happily ever after.

But enough about Fairy Tale Princesses. The point of my example was that the story was made complete by the fact that there were challenges for the protagonist to overcome. That she was forced to confront herself and grow as a result.

In this same way, God/Spirit is telling your story. And in this telling, there are challenges that come into play for you that you do not always understand. You may have suffered from terrible illness, loss, injury, financial or spiritual setback. You may not know your power. You may not feel as if you can truly love. Or like Cinderella, you may not realize how beautiful you really are.

But you know what? Even though you do not always like the challenges that are in your life, fear not as like all good human storytellers, the author of your own life has your best interests at heart, and has the best outcome for you, even if it is something you do not consciously understand.

We see evil in this world because it is a challenge set for us to overcome. If we had nothing to overcome and face, we would be very bland beings without any dynamic perfection to us. We would be static and unchanging. Change is the only constant of the universe. As such, we need to be dynamic. We need to be able to have something to fight for. Something to get better at. And even something to confront.

And just as any good human storyteller does, God experiences all of the events of your life alongside you. S/he is there to comfort and console you. To make you strong and make sure that the best possible outcome occurs for you. This is done out of love and nothing else.

There is even better news to this too. The story of your life is NOT a monologue told by God/dess. It is in fact a dialogue between you and Hir. You see, as I have said before on many occassion, Man is God. Man is the creator of his own reality. We always have a choice. We may not be consciously choosing to be diagnosed with cancer or get into a huge car accident, but we do choose how we respond to that. And we choose how we can adapt from that experience to grow as people and evolve into the Gods we are.

This can be as small as choosing to react in a certain way when something happens. Or it can be as big as actually creating a change in your reality to learn from the trajedy in your life. We are Magicians, Psychics, and Energy Workers after all. We can do it if we truly desire.

I do not abide by the idea that something outside of Divinity is causing our suffering. And neither should you. Accept the reality you have created for yourself and see where it will take you. I have faith in you.

LVX Amor!

On Smiles and the Numinous Power they Possess

I have been so blessed in my life to be able to partake in the many miracles of the world all around me. Where I am now, I see much joy in my life, and I am so very grateful for that. I am blessed to have a loving family that happily support me. I am blessed to have a wonderful job that brings me fulfillment. I am blessed to be surrounded by love and holy desire from those I meet. And I am blessed to have the care of the Godhead, whom shines down on me with utter grace. And you know what? That brings a smile to my face.

Yes, a smile. It is so simple and basic to human existence, and yet it is one of the greatest powers we possess. Try doing so right now. Smile (no matter how you are feeling in this moment) and you will see that you begin to feel a lot better. The act of moving our lips in such a way sends dopamine into our brain. A chemical reaction that makes us feel better occurs in us simply by trying. This is a numinous gift.

What's more is that this is a gift that keeps on giving. Your smile has the power to inspire joy in others as much as it does for yourself. Try it out the next you chance you get. Smile from your heart and direct that at another person. A smile is infectious. People tend to feel happier when they see other people expressing joy. It doesn't always work if the person you smile at is stuck in feelings of negativity and doesn't want to release those, but most of the time, it does. And it is a truly magical ability we all have. A smile is the ability to simulate feelings of happiness and spread that happiness towards others. The best part is that it does not cost you a thing.

I have seen the power of my own smile make an impact in the world around me. At my job and out on the town, I do my best to keep a grin on my face no matter what mycurrent situation is, and combined with a kind word or two, it really does make a difference in the lives of others.

Two nights ag, I was approached at work by a patient I had seen in the past. I had barely spoken with her, but I had given her a warm smile and had wished her a great day. As this woman cme to me, she told me that when I had done so to her, it had completely brightened her day after feeling incredibly depressed (even contemplating ideas of suicide). My small gift of joy to her, which I had thought nothing of, had made a difference to her. It had gotten her smiling too, and with that began a little more joy and courage to face on another day of sickness, to work one more step towards healing. And you know what? that put a smile on my face to hear that. And then the joy spread even more.

It truly is that simple yet powerful. Within all of us is the power to bring joy to ourselves an others. It is a gift best shared. It enlivens the spirit and makes the heart grow fond. Give yourself this gift often and share it with as many as you can.

Remember! Your Smile can literally change the world!

LVX Amor!

On Power and Responsibility

"But you need to let go of your inhibitions and accept the reality you have wished for. You are the Wish Maker. You are a magician of such strength, that your desires manifest into reality at the drop of a hat. This is most likely your creation as is all of the joys and struggles you have experienced in the past." --Excerpt from Chapter Seven of my Writing Project: "Rise of the Magician"

What does power mean to you? Is it influence over the masses? Is it being in complete control of every facet of your life? It is a special gift allowing you access to the forces that permeate the worlds seen and unseen? Or is it being able to stay centered and focused no matter what happens in your life?

Whatever power means to you, the point is how you use it.

How would you use power? Would you use it to start a revolution? Would you use it to ascend in consciousness? Would you use it to inspire great change? Would you use to to fill your ego? Would you use it for your own personal gain? Would you use it to have earthly advantage over others? Would you create joy and love? Or would you create a new life for yourself?

I have considered using my own personal power for all of these reasons and more. Throughout my life, I have desired some great power to control my life and live higher than "lowly mortals". I have also thought of using it for philanthropy and enlivening others. But ultimately, now that I actually am in touch with a degree of my power, I use it to cultivate joy within myself and others. I see myself on the paths of Happiness and LovingKindness and try my bst to use such a path to further those in my life that are suffering, hurt, depressed, or simply downtrodden.

I have seen much pain and suffering, not just in my own life, but in the lives of many others. People not realizing their own power and then sacrificing it for the comforts of their own phobias and despair. This makes my heart ache.

I recently went out with a man, who was a beautiful soul and awakening on the path to his own power, and yet something happened with him. After a very intimate moment where our energies merged momentarily and we felt our presences in a higher state, he broke down. He began to talk about how life had suddenly turned downhill for him and that nothing seemed to turn out right. That it was he was somehow cursed or tormented.

With the highest amount of sympathy I could manage in that moment, I tried to console him, yet I told him outright that this was of his own making. His desires, his emotions, his beliefs and his thoughts had all been used in such a way as to focus on negativity and that in turn had attracted pain into his life. And yet, there was hope.

Despite the fact that our states of suffering are self-created, there is equal liberation in the thought that we can create even greater happiness and fulfillment for ourselves, and instead of living in a personal Hell, make a Heaven on Earth for ourselves.

I may not have reached my personal heaven yet, but I can testify to the fact that I have ascended far beyond my own despair and that I am living an enchanted life for it. And the best part? Anyone can do it too. We can all accept our power, instead of give it away, and then we can choose to use it with responsibility.

We do have the power to create bliss, to live with purpose, to connect ourselves to our spiritual center, and to manifest miracles. It is in the core of our being. I keep saying that Man is God on Earth, and I wholeheartedly believe it. Just as I create synchronicities in my life and find ecstasy in that, so may everybody else see that they too can create what they desire.

Something as small as a smile can literally change the world. A kind word to another can uplift them to a higher sense of awareness. And an act of service can enliven people to make a difference. That is our power. That is our purpose. One does not need Psychokinesis or super-powers to be powerful and change the world. It all lies in the Body, the Heart and the Mind governed under Spirit, the Soul we all share.

LVX Amor!

On Boy Wizards and Power

"Every Man and Woman is a Star!" --Aleister Crowley

Today, the final installment of the Harry Potter movie franchise was released today, and you know what? I am sick of hearing about it! Sick and tired of hearing about the boy wizard and his quest to defeat the "Dark Lord". Potter is not the first young man in fantasy literature to go to a wizard school and face off against evil, much less have dark hair, glasses, and a pet owl.

It was one of such previous works that truly inspired me on my path as a magician and mystic: Ursula Le Guin's "A Wizard of Earthsea". It is a book raising the fundamental question of what one would do if gifted with unlimited power, and provided me with much thought as to my own quest for power and illumination.

The story is about a young village boy, whose powers in magic propel him to be enrolled in a Bronze Age school for wizards, and in his ego and selfishness to prove himself, accidentally conjures Death from the Underworld and lets it loose upon his mythical world. The boy then finds himself on a quest to defeat Death and must overcome multiple temptations in the forms of dragons with secret knowledge, beautiful women with the intent of enslaving him and even his own allies overcome by his enemy, in order to fulfill his quest, eventually travelling to the edge of the land of the dead to overcome his opponent, which (SPOILER ALERT!) turns out to be part of himself. As Ged, the boy, defeats his shadow and becomes one with it, he resumes the full responsibilities of his manhood and returns back to the world of the living with greater knowledge and consciousness. Wow!

And in a strange way, I see Ged's struggle in my own life. I have been believed to be incredibly powerful by many members of the mytelekinesis.com website and let that get into my ego, where such thoughts formed many personal demons which I had to overcome alone. In the end, I have come much closer to adulthood and embracing myself not as an idealized superhero of my childish fantasies, but as an empowered young man able to create my world in any way I choose.

We should all come to this realization about ourselves. That we do have power in our lives. That we can overcome our darkness. That we can be fully accountable for our lives and not suffer for it, but be enlivened by this instead.

This is the journey in Psychic/Magical development. To become the shining suns we were meant to be, and not just sheep in a flock. To take responsibility for our lives and our power. To grow into empowerment and wisdom. To be as Bright and Big and Beautiful as we need be.

Many leave this path with the dissappointment that their egos were not satisfied and that the pressures to actually grow as a human being were not what they had hoped for, and I say whizzers on them! The task of the magician is not entered into lightly. This is not the fancy free mayhem of Harry Potter, but the call to one's true nature of Ged in Earthsea.

LVX Amor!

On Eros and Sexuality

This is a topic I have been wanting to write about for a while, and will most likely return to at some point in the future as it plays such an important part in my work as a Magician and a Mystic. That is right: Sex. But more importantly: the ever present creative impulse known to the ancient greeks as Eros.

I make no excuses. I enjoy being a sexual being and actively participate in that process. The joining of body and energy in pleasure is something I hold very sacred. The ideal of physical love and merging with another in celebration of life and creative power is something I heartily enjoy. I even make many jokes with my friends about being incredibly easy and promiscuous.

However, I must confess that it is not just a "screw" (a word I dislike using in approaching such an act) that I seek. It isn't that my partner has large genetalia or can work wonders with his body that draws me in. It is the life force. Plain and simple. The rush of energy that comes with the arousal and the subsequent activity is what truly gets me. The act of being fully alive in the world, connected with another soul in harmony, however brief, is what truly propels me towards this act.

And yet sadly, the sacredness of sexuality has been reduced to a dirty f*ck. Eros, the great god that inflames men's hearts with passion is left as a chubby baby in a diaper, instead of a powerful virile youth. The sexuality of the cosmos is left unnoticed. And the desires of man to join in union with another are left regarded as something either kinky or perverse. I do not believe that it should be in such a way.

You see, sex is not just the penetration of genetalia. It is so much more. It is Earthworms burrowing in the soil. It is the earth rising to meet a strike of lightning. It is flowers opening up to show their faces to the light of the sun. And it is the joining for forces in harmony and pleasure for eachother.

In many ancient cultures, it was sex that set the worlds in motion. To the greeks, the primordial Eros, the protogenos, mates with chaos and gives birth to the heavens and the earth and man and all gods. In the Hindu culture, the coupling of Shakti and Shiva created the universe and all within it. Even in witchcraft sects, such as the Anderson Feri Tradition, it is the Goddess whom falls in love with herself after seeing her reflection in the black mirror of space, and her subsequent masturbation and orgasm explodes outwards, giving birth to all things.

The point is that sexuality is the impulse that brings all life together, and then if in the right circumstances, actually creates new life. I see it as the most life affirming act there is, as what could be more life affirming than an act that creates new life?

Ultimately, it is better to be safe and cautious and to be involved with someone you love instead of just using someone for personal pleasure, I will add. However, that should not stop you from being avaliable to the miracle that exists.

It is our rights as human beings and gods to partake in this creative act. Our joy and ecstasy to kiss the limitless and be entwined in this cosmic dance. So don't think of it as something perverse or dirty. See it as it truly is: life entwined in rapturous embrace.

LVX Amor!