On the Numinous and the Ideal

It was about 2:30 in the morning as I was on break from work. I had gone outside to smoke a cigarette and was immediately confronted by the chill air that hugged me like a sheet. I was not to be deterred, however, and I lit my smoke without another thought. I was not paying much attention to my surroundings at first, my mind primarily focused on trifling fantasies of myself as a powerful super-being in the distant future. It was when I sat down next to a co-worker (also smoking) and talked to her that I began to regain my awareness.



I had been having a very peaceful and relaxing night at wok with almost no problems to speak of. Due to my love of sharing good news, for it truly is the gift that keeps on giving, I tell her only to be met by a tang of envy and a shrivel of pessimism. Obviously, my co-worker was not having as wonderful a night as I was. I chide her jokingly on her attitude, quoting Einstein's famous line that you can live life as if nothing or everything is a miracle. She shook her head and went inside to leave me with my silliness and optimism.



But the quote stayed with me. To live as if everything were a miracle would be such an incredible thing, indeed. To not be so caught up in negative trifles that so consume the soul and to be thankful for everything that happens to us in this life, to see it as a gift from spirit, to be embraced by deep magic would be truly the greatest miracle of all. The phrase "Deep Magic" stuck with me particularly, and it opened my awareness to my surroundings.



It is true that the air was brisk, but it contrasted my surroundings perfectly. There were no clouds in the sky, leaving only a shining mantle of stars above my head. A slight breeze blew in the branches of the nearby trees, whose leaves were the deepest shade of green I had seen in a long while. The grass was still and not a creature stirred in the adjacent parking lot. All was still and quiet and calm. There was true magic in the air that night.



I then thought: What really is magic? Most would say that it is some sort of supernatural power or a set of actions used to control nature and man. But I do not believe that. Magic is far more than mere sorcery used to gain advantage over our families and foes. Magic is even far more than Pagan spellcraft and invoking ancient Godheads. Classical Yoga, Creative Visualization, Meditation, Mysticism of all faiths (and the faiths themselves), and even Prayer are all forms of magic. Magic is not about controlling things. It is about connecting to higher consciousness, to spirit, to make the world anew. It is to become one with one's inherent divine nature to create new possibilities for life.



But Magic (and Religion, if I may be so bold) is so much more than just changing the minimal aspects of our lives. It is not a power, an act, or a creed. It is a promise. All religions, all spirituality, and all systems of spiritual power speak of this promise. This promise states that if a Man should know and love his Divine Nature, should be empty of his Ego and the Material Vanities of this world, should love all within his sphere of influence, and should always strive for the Numinous and the Ideal he shall become a fully realized Divine, Spiritual Being. He shall be co-creator with God Himself, the source of all.


I gazed at the night sky filled with the illumination of my epiphany and smiled. The rest of my night at work was even better for that chance realization and my day was even better as a result as I mulled it over. Truly, we are all of the Highest.

May you be filled with the heights of illumination and the depths of wisdom.

LVX Amor!

On Little Mermaids and Realized Desires

(Yes folks, the blog is back. After a very brief sabbatical (caused by not finding the time to get down to write), this blog is back to it's traditional three-posts-a-month entries. So without further ado, here is something that I have been meaning to write about for a very long time. Enjoy!)


Without a doubt, my favorite movie of all time is Disney's The Little Mermaid. It is the first movie I ever remember watching and it has had an incredibly profound effect on me, especially when I was much younger. At first, the enchantment came from images of magical merpeople, Ursula and Triton's supernatural powers, and thoughts of another world beyond what I had initially experienced. That movie eventually inspired me to become a magician and mystic in the most gradual of senses.But it was more than fantasy tangible to my senses that inspired me from this movie. It was also the central plot of the story.


Ariel is not content to exist as a siren like the rest of her family, nor is he content with the world she lives in. She feels a deep calling within herself to explore reaches of space that are far beyond her physical abilities to accomplish. She is fascinated by the things she does not understand and she wants to know more. She desires adventure, excitement, and daring escapades in her life to fill the void she feels. Naturally, her family does not understand her vocation, despite their loving efforts, and her friends (while happy to support her) are not the most daring nor helpful friends one can find, given their small statures. Ariel feels as if she cannot truly relate to the world around her and as such, she dares to broaden her horizons.


By chance, Ariel discovers and rescues a human being, the encounter drawing her further into fascination with her desire. Sadly, her family doesn't understand and Ariel, tired of dreaming, decides to take matters into her own hands and magically changes herself to fit her desire. Now finally able to live her dream, Ariel finds happiness. Unfortunately, she is met with great adversity, but Ariel will not give up. She fights as hard as she can to fulfill her desire, and when she cannot fight any longer, her man nips her problem in the butt with the mast of a ship. At the calm of the storm, Ariel is given a second chance to fulfill her dream and she ends up living happily ever after.


What a whimsical story filled with hope for a child. That movie inspired me to try to live out my dreams and I have been doing a pretty good job of that so far. What a nice idea? To follow your dreams despite the odds that present themselves and end up living happily ever after is truly a wonderful and hopeful message that has served me well. Thank you Disney.


A while back, I watched this movie again after a long time of not knowing where it was, and I wholeheartedly expected to be as enthralled as before. For some reason, the message did not ring true again. This time, I was left with a feeling of disappointment. Everything about the film was the same, don't get me wrong. It's just that the same story that inspired me to pursue the impossible so long ago now left me with a bittersweet taste in my mouth.


Instead of seeing a powerful young woman that took control of her life and weathered the storm to attain her heart's desire, I saw something completely different. I saw a hormonal little girl who had everything she could ever want but still would not be satiated from her lust for greener pastures. I saw a troublesome and rebellious child that a no mind for her responsibilities, no concern for a family that loved her, friends that would die for her, or her world, a world of deep, pure magic. Ariel simply cannot be swayed that the Utopian society she lives in is truly worthy of her, so she looks for something she thinks is better (when given comparison, it isn't).


Then to top it off, Ariel has no control over her sexual desires and immediately believes her lust for a man that she has never even spoken to to be true love. Heaven forbid her father (who loves her to pieces) try to persuade her otherwise, she is going to have her way or throw a tantrum and run away like a spoiled brat instead of trying to resolve her relationship with her family. Then she practically says: "There is a sea witch in town who can make everything better? Oh boy! I better jump on that bandwagon!" and ends up trading her voice (her best feature, mind you) for magical plastic surgery. So instead of being a beautiful mermaid princess who can speak her mind and voice her opinions, Ariel has become an ordinary human girl without a dime to her name and no way to even express herself.


Of course, we are dealing with Disney here and Ariel's hopeful beau, Prince Eric, finds her by chance and takes her in without a second thought, but they actually fall in love despite the fact that Ariel cannot even function on her own in his world.


Things get bad and Eric ends up being mind-raped by the shape shifting sea witch and after a struggle aboard a wedding ship involving a myriad of sea creatures, Ariel's voice is restored too late for her dream to come to fruition. Then things escalate as every person (or animal) that Ariel has ever loved throw themselves in harms way against Ursula with Ariel nearly being vaporized by Ursula's Trident blast, only to have Eric save the day by impaling the sea witch. Triton them goes to bring Ariel back into a human and marry Eric and the rest is history. UGH! What a disappointing story!


Our title heroine has remained a static character the entire picture and did not deserve her happy ending. Ariel did not take responsibility and vanquish Ursula herself. Eric did. Ariel didn't learn a hard lesson about thankfulness or appreciating the people in her life who sacrificed themselves to protect her and she certainly did not even say "Thank You" to her father for giving in in the end. Ariel was and remains a spoiled brat accustomed to having her way by the time the movie is finished. But this is not just a negative movie review. Far from it. There is a message behind my new-found criticisms.

The point I am trying to make here is that beyond our immediate desires, wishes, lusts, and what have you is usually a great life that we are completely missing out on because we are too focused on those things that we do not believe we have. We ask for miracles all the time and actually receive them, only to never realize they have come about. Then we keep spending our energy with wishing and never realize how wonderful our lives truly are.

Ariel is a beautiful princess mermaid with a gorgeous voice, a loving family, the best friends that one could ask for, lives a life of constant adventure, is adored by all in her world, and lives in an undersea utopia. Surely that would be better than most people in the real world could ask for. But for some reason, it does not satisfy Disney's red headed heroine an she ends up running away from home, betraying her loved ones, consorting with evil people, and nearly gets herself killed. All of that for a dream that even she is not even sure she deserves. But of course, being Disney, Ariel naturally has a happy ending despite her lack of perception.

The same thing with so many people in our world. How many times have you seen tabloids describe celebrities who have millions of dollars, are loved by the masses, have loving and extremely attractive partners, and blossoming careers yet are always making the worst decisions in their lives. This even occurs with the common man as well, even more frequently. Surely this must stop.

A guru might argue that it is because these people desire things of a worldly nature, they will never find satisfaction and so continue in a cycle of unhappiness, but I do not completely agree with this.

In a neopagan circle a few weeks ago, I was asked to intuit a message from God Herself and I was told that my desires were not egocentric nor unworthy of me. My desires, in fact, supported the divine agenda. As I contemplated this message later on, I realized that all desires to better one's self and find happiness support the divine agenda. They all lead to the attainment of Divine Realization and possibly Deification in the long run. Sadly, when these desires are not met, people tend to make unwise decisions in the belief that they will never have their desires realized.

In my own life, I dreamed of being a magical adventurer for most of my life. I wanted to travel to the reaches of the universe, battle monsters and find something numinous. Afterwards, I found in me a natural talent in Astral Projection and began journeying through the Astral Plane doing the things I had wished for. For some reason, however, I was not satisfied. I wanted to travel in my physical body, not an astral body of light. As such, I missed out on even greater experiences because I was never thankful for what I had received. It wasn't even until recently that I even realized this fact. Pity.

Our desires have already been met. Divinity, inherent in us all, is the beginning and end of all desires. It is the source from which we live, move, and have our being. As such, we already have all we could ask for, though we often do not realize it. It is time to be thankful for the things we have. It is time to acknowledge that we grant our own wishes daily.

LVX Amor!

On Stars and Streetlights

"We want our egos to be our allies, not our slaves or masters." --T. Thorn Coyle

A couple of weeks ago, I was at my job on a short cigarette break. I go outside to see waxing moon that was almost full, but even more so, the amount of stars I had seen around my house the night before when I wasn't working had appeared to diminish. Good old light poullution huh?

A co worker then came outside shortly after me and commented the same thing, saying that barely any stars were out tonight. I replied saying that the stars were always there, save for the fact that our man-made lights were blotting out their appearance in the sky. And as I said those words, I had an epiphany of sorts. It was actually very cool.

I have heard it said that the voice of the Highest Self is very soft and is usually blocked out by the Ego. That we need to be very quiet and listen with discernment to make out the voice of the Holy Guardian Angel. From there, we will see the brilliance of our own divine natures.

In my own studies, I have found that the Highest Self/God Soul/Holy Guardian Angel corresponds with the highest chakra: the Sahasrara. The seat of divine consciousness and spirituality. The Ego corresponds with the Aura which is none other than the emission of all the six lower chakras radiating from a person to create a field of energy about them.

This Aura, this Luciferean light, is quite bright. Were more people clairvoyant, they would feel strain looking at the masses of auras of other people. However, the Light of the Highest Self in the Sahasrara is much brighter, though it's brilliance is dimmed by the aura's emanation.

Just light a street light is really bright up close compared to a star which would incinerate us within thousands (if not millions) of miles to it's proximity; so does the Ego's light pale in comparison to the light of the God Soul.

Does that strike a bell? It should. Cause in the same way that our man made lights blot out starlight, so does our own light based on earthly needs, blot out the shining of our divine selves. And if one were to see past the light of their own projections, they would behold a greater luminescence of spirit that far outshines the Ego.

But does that mean that the Ego is evil? No! It is a construct in man that is of great use to him. Just as streetlights were made to give us light, so does the ego help us. However, just as streetlights are not the end all to light in the night sky, neither is the Ego the end all to our spiritual luminescence.

As the quote says at the top of this post: The Ego should be our ally, not our slave nor our master. If artifical light of man can be used to help us in darkness, so can the auric light be of use to us should we use it responsibly.

That is one of the big challenges of being human. Flawed, yet Divine.

LVX Amor!

On Spirit and Storytelling

I have heard the argument of: If God is Omnibenevolent (infinitely good), then how come so much evil exists in the world? And there are many arguments for this. The most common is that Satan (or some other adversarial force) exists and as such we are tempted to do bad things which cause others misery. Another argument I have heard over the years (which I am inclined to agree with) is that evil is born from human beings feeling such disconnection to the Divine that their desires get warped and in their quest for happiness (which is the human dilemma) they begin to believe that doing things that normal people would consider appalling will be for their greater joy. And then there is another theory. One that makes the most sense to me. Allow me to share.

I call it: the Storytelling Theory; and to put it simply, a man's life is a story being told by God/Spirit/Man's Superconscious. You might think that this sounds strange. I think it will take a little more elaboration than just that one sentence.

We all tell stories. Sometimes they are lies we make up to cover our misdeeds. Sometimes they are thought patterns we tell ourselves that reinforce old beliefs. And then we tell fictional stories to people around us in the hopes of entertaining others. You need not be a Pulitzer winning novelist in order to make a good story. You just need to have the desire to convey an idea to another.

All good stories are about an event that occurred in the author's imagination and they usually revolve around a central figure, force, or person who plays a major role in the event. And all good stories require some form of conflict.

But take the fairy tale of Cinderella for example. If Cindy had no troubles in her life, no conflict had no evil stepmother, no difficulty getting to the ball and winning the heart of Prince Charming, or any kind of conflict with being able to marry him, what would the story have been? It would have been about a girl whom never grew up or evolved. The heroine wouldn't have had any trouble fulfilling her role. And if she grew up not having conflict in her life, having all her needs met and then becomes a princess, the readers of the story would think that she didn't deserve her upliftment in society nor any of the rewards given to her.

The solution was to give her trouble. Cinderella is born without knowing her mother and is abused by her step-mother whom forbids her from going to the ball. On top of that, her inherent beauty is hidden by the ashes of the fireplace where she is forced to sleep. Then through some miracle (either fairy godmother, magic tree and birds, enchanted fish or what not since this part of the story changes with each retelling in the different cultures) Cinderella is amazed by her chance to attend the ball where her beauty is seen by all and in her newfound grace, she enchants Prince Charming and through the test of placing on the glass slipper, she is able to move past her terrible upbringing and live a truly enchanted life.

What was the point of Cinderella's conflict? In the beginning she is mourning loss and she is unaware of her beauty and the power of her faith. When her faith manifests the magic allowing her to go to the ball, Cinderella is able to see her beauty and be uplifted by that, and from the loss of her mother and all the love that would have brought, Cinderella is brought back to find love in the Prince and lives happily ever after.

But enough about Fairy Tale Princesses. The point of my example was that the story was made complete by the fact that there were challenges for the protagonist to overcome. That she was forced to confront herself and grow as a result.

In this same way, God/Spirit is telling your story. And in this telling, there are challenges that come into play for you that you do not always understand. You may have suffered from terrible illness, loss, injury, financial or spiritual setback. You may not know your power. You may not feel as if you can truly love. Or like Cinderella, you may not realize how beautiful you really are.

But you know what? Even though you do not always like the challenges that are in your life, fear not as like all good human storytellers, the author of your own life has your best interests at heart, and has the best outcome for you, even if it is something you do not consciously understand.

We see evil in this world because it is a challenge set for us to overcome. If we had nothing to overcome and face, we would be very bland beings without any dynamic perfection to us. We would be static and unchanging. Change is the only constant of the universe. As such, we need to be dynamic. We need to be able to have something to fight for. Something to get better at. And even something to confront.

And just as any good human storyteller does, God experiences all of the events of your life alongside you. S/he is there to comfort and console you. To make you strong and make sure that the best possible outcome occurs for you. This is done out of love and nothing else.

There is even better news to this too. The story of your life is NOT a monologue told by God/dess. It is in fact a dialogue between you and Hir. You see, as I have said before on many occassion, Man is God. Man is the creator of his own reality. We always have a choice. We may not be consciously choosing to be diagnosed with cancer or get into a huge car accident, but we do choose how we respond to that. And we choose how we can adapt from that experience to grow as people and evolve into the Gods we are.

This can be as small as choosing to react in a certain way when something happens. Or it can be as big as actually creating a change in your reality to learn from the trajedy in your life. We are Magicians, Psychics, and Energy Workers after all. We can do it if we truly desire.

I do not abide by the idea that something outside of Divinity is causing our suffering. And neither should you. Accept the reality you have created for yourself and see where it will take you. I have faith in you.

LVX Amor!

On Smiles and the Numinous Power they Possess

I have been so blessed in my life to be able to partake in the many miracles of the world all around me. Where I am now, I see much joy in my life, and I am so very grateful for that. I am blessed to have a loving family that happily support me. I am blessed to have a wonderful job that brings me fulfillment. I am blessed to be surrounded by love and holy desire from those I meet. And I am blessed to have the care of the Godhead, whom shines down on me with utter grace. And you know what? That brings a smile to my face.

Yes, a smile. It is so simple and basic to human existence, and yet it is one of the greatest powers we possess. Try doing so right now. Smile (no matter how you are feeling in this moment) and you will see that you begin to feel a lot better. The act of moving our lips in such a way sends dopamine into our brain. A chemical reaction that makes us feel better occurs in us simply by trying. This is a numinous gift.

What's more is that this is a gift that keeps on giving. Your smile has the power to inspire joy in others as much as it does for yourself. Try it out the next you chance you get. Smile from your heart and direct that at another person. A smile is infectious. People tend to feel happier when they see other people expressing joy. It doesn't always work if the person you smile at is stuck in feelings of negativity and doesn't want to release those, but most of the time, it does. And it is a truly magical ability we all have. A smile is the ability to simulate feelings of happiness and spread that happiness towards others. The best part is that it does not cost you a thing.

I have seen the power of my own smile make an impact in the world around me. At my job and out on the town, I do my best to keep a grin on my face no matter what mycurrent situation is, and combined with a kind word or two, it really does make a difference in the lives of others.

Two nights ag, I was approached at work by a patient I had seen in the past. I had barely spoken with her, but I had given her a warm smile and had wished her a great day. As this woman cme to me, she told me that when I had done so to her, it had completely brightened her day after feeling incredibly depressed (even contemplating ideas of suicide). My small gift of joy to her, which I had thought nothing of, had made a difference to her. It had gotten her smiling too, and with that began a little more joy and courage to face on another day of sickness, to work one more step towards healing. And you know what? that put a smile on my face to hear that. And then the joy spread even more.

It truly is that simple yet powerful. Within all of us is the power to bring joy to ourselves an others. It is a gift best shared. It enlivens the spirit and makes the heart grow fond. Give yourself this gift often and share it with as many as you can.

Remember! Your Smile can literally change the world!

LVX Amor!

On Power and Responsibility

"But you need to let go of your inhibitions and accept the reality you have wished for. You are the Wish Maker. You are a magician of such strength, that your desires manifest into reality at the drop of a hat. This is most likely your creation as is all of the joys and struggles you have experienced in the past." --Excerpt from Chapter Seven of my Writing Project: "Rise of the Magician"

What does power mean to you? Is it influence over the masses? Is it being in complete control of every facet of your life? It is a special gift allowing you access to the forces that permeate the worlds seen and unseen? Or is it being able to stay centered and focused no matter what happens in your life?

Whatever power means to you, the point is how you use it.

How would you use power? Would you use it to start a revolution? Would you use it to ascend in consciousness? Would you use it to inspire great change? Would you use to to fill your ego? Would you use it for your own personal gain? Would you use it to have earthly advantage over others? Would you create joy and love? Or would you create a new life for yourself?

I have considered using my own personal power for all of these reasons and more. Throughout my life, I have desired some great power to control my life and live higher than "lowly mortals". I have also thought of using it for philanthropy and enlivening others. But ultimately, now that I actually am in touch with a degree of my power, I use it to cultivate joy within myself and others. I see myself on the paths of Happiness and LovingKindness and try my bst to use such a path to further those in my life that are suffering, hurt, depressed, or simply downtrodden.

I have seen much pain and suffering, not just in my own life, but in the lives of many others. People not realizing their own power and then sacrificing it for the comforts of their own phobias and despair. This makes my heart ache.

I recently went out with a man, who was a beautiful soul and awakening on the path to his own power, and yet something happened with him. After a very intimate moment where our energies merged momentarily and we felt our presences in a higher state, he broke down. He began to talk about how life had suddenly turned downhill for him and that nothing seemed to turn out right. That it was he was somehow cursed or tormented.

With the highest amount of sympathy I could manage in that moment, I tried to console him, yet I told him outright that this was of his own making. His desires, his emotions, his beliefs and his thoughts had all been used in such a way as to focus on negativity and that in turn had attracted pain into his life. And yet, there was hope.

Despite the fact that our states of suffering are self-created, there is equal liberation in the thought that we can create even greater happiness and fulfillment for ourselves, and instead of living in a personal Hell, make a Heaven on Earth for ourselves.

I may not have reached my personal heaven yet, but I can testify to the fact that I have ascended far beyond my own despair and that I am living an enchanted life for it. And the best part? Anyone can do it too. We can all accept our power, instead of give it away, and then we can choose to use it with responsibility.

We do have the power to create bliss, to live with purpose, to connect ourselves to our spiritual center, and to manifest miracles. It is in the core of our being. I keep saying that Man is God on Earth, and I wholeheartedly believe it. Just as I create synchronicities in my life and find ecstasy in that, so may everybody else see that they too can create what they desire.

Something as small as a smile can literally change the world. A kind word to another can uplift them to a higher sense of awareness. And an act of service can enliven people to make a difference. That is our power. That is our purpose. One does not need Psychokinesis or super-powers to be powerful and change the world. It all lies in the Body, the Heart and the Mind governed under Spirit, the Soul we all share.

LVX Amor!

On Boy Wizards and Power

"Every Man and Woman is a Star!" --Aleister Crowley

Today, the final installment of the Harry Potter movie franchise was released today, and you know what? I am sick of hearing about it! Sick and tired of hearing about the boy wizard and his quest to defeat the "Dark Lord". Potter is not the first young man in fantasy literature to go to a wizard school and face off against evil, much less have dark hair, glasses, and a pet owl.

It was one of such previous works that truly inspired me on my path as a magician and mystic: Ursula Le Guin's "A Wizard of Earthsea". It is a book raising the fundamental question of what one would do if gifted with unlimited power, and provided me with much thought as to my own quest for power and illumination.

The story is about a young village boy, whose powers in magic propel him to be enrolled in a Bronze Age school for wizards, and in his ego and selfishness to prove himself, accidentally conjures Death from the Underworld and lets it loose upon his mythical world. The boy then finds himself on a quest to defeat Death and must overcome multiple temptations in the forms of dragons with secret knowledge, beautiful women with the intent of enslaving him and even his own allies overcome by his enemy, in order to fulfill his quest, eventually travelling to the edge of the land of the dead to overcome his opponent, which (SPOILER ALERT!) turns out to be part of himself. As Ged, the boy, defeats his shadow and becomes one with it, he resumes the full responsibilities of his manhood and returns back to the world of the living with greater knowledge and consciousness. Wow!

And in a strange way, I see Ged's struggle in my own life. I have been believed to be incredibly powerful by many members of the mytelekinesis.com website and let that get into my ego, where such thoughts formed many personal demons which I had to overcome alone. In the end, I have come much closer to adulthood and embracing myself not as an idealized superhero of my childish fantasies, but as an empowered young man able to create my world in any way I choose.

We should all come to this realization about ourselves. That we do have power in our lives. That we can overcome our darkness. That we can be fully accountable for our lives and not suffer for it, but be enlivened by this instead.

This is the journey in Psychic/Magical development. To become the shining suns we were meant to be, and not just sheep in a flock. To take responsibility for our lives and our power. To grow into empowerment and wisdom. To be as Bright and Big and Beautiful as we need be.

Many leave this path with the dissappointment that their egos were not satisfied and that the pressures to actually grow as a human being were not what they had hoped for, and I say whizzers on them! The task of the magician is not entered into lightly. This is not the fancy free mayhem of Harry Potter, but the call to one's true nature of Ged in Earthsea.

LVX Amor!

On Eros and Sexuality

This is a topic I have been wanting to write about for a while, and will most likely return to at some point in the future as it plays such an important part in my work as a Magician and a Mystic. That is right: Sex. But more importantly: the ever present creative impulse known to the ancient greeks as Eros.

I make no excuses. I enjoy being a sexual being and actively participate in that process. The joining of body and energy in pleasure is something I hold very sacred. The ideal of physical love and merging with another in celebration of life and creative power is something I heartily enjoy. I even make many jokes with my friends about being incredibly easy and promiscuous.

However, I must confess that it is not just a "screw" (a word I dislike using in approaching such an act) that I seek. It isn't that my partner has large genetalia or can work wonders with his body that draws me in. It is the life force. Plain and simple. The rush of energy that comes with the arousal and the subsequent activity is what truly gets me. The act of being fully alive in the world, connected with another soul in harmony, however brief, is what truly propels me towards this act.

And yet sadly, the sacredness of sexuality has been reduced to a dirty f*ck. Eros, the great god that inflames men's hearts with passion is left as a chubby baby in a diaper, instead of a powerful virile youth. The sexuality of the cosmos is left unnoticed. And the desires of man to join in union with another are left regarded as something either kinky or perverse. I do not believe that it should be in such a way.

You see, sex is not just the penetration of genetalia. It is so much more. It is Earthworms burrowing in the soil. It is the earth rising to meet a strike of lightning. It is flowers opening up to show their faces to the light of the sun. And it is the joining for forces in harmony and pleasure for eachother.

In many ancient cultures, it was sex that set the worlds in motion. To the greeks, the primordial Eros, the protogenos, mates with chaos and gives birth to the heavens and the earth and man and all gods. In the Hindu culture, the coupling of Shakti and Shiva created the universe and all within it. Even in witchcraft sects, such as the Anderson Feri Tradition, it is the Goddess whom falls in love with herself after seeing her reflection in the black mirror of space, and her subsequent masturbation and orgasm explodes outwards, giving birth to all things.

The point is that sexuality is the impulse that brings all life together, and then if in the right circumstances, actually creates new life. I see it as the most life affirming act there is, as what could be more life affirming than an act that creates new life?

Ultimately, it is better to be safe and cautious and to be involved with someone you love instead of just using someone for personal pleasure, I will add. However, that should not stop you from being avaliable to the miracle that exists.

It is our rights as human beings and gods to partake in this creative act. Our joy and ecstasy to kiss the limitless and be entwined in this cosmic dance. So don't think of it as something perverse or dirty. See it as it truly is: life entwined in rapturous embrace.

LVX Amor!

On "Sin", "Satan", and "Hell"

On the day I met my former patient on the street, whom told me that i made a difference in his life, I was also met by a Christian whom tried to get me to go to his church in hopes of converting me to his faith. And since then, I have found myself in much religious debate over my theology and the fundamentalist Christian theology. So I have decided to take the time to actually write about what I feel in regards to what I have been debating against.

Now, before I go any further, I have to say that I have no problems with the religion of Chrtistianity. I think it is actually a wonderful faith filled with doctrine of forgiveness and hope in oppressive times. That we need not feel burdened by the pressures of a material world when a higher spiritual reality beckons us towards enlightenment.

The symbol of Jesus on the Cross is gorgeous. It shows (to me at least) a message that whatever we feel guilty or ashamed about, no matter what brings us down, no matter how awful we feel, we will find forgiveness from that and be released from those burdens to be surrounded in love and joy.

However, I think that people have taken it too far in fundamentalism. Instead of preaching on Self Forgiveness, it has become a doctrine of fear instead. According to most of the Christian faith that I have met or seen in the media (there may be others whom are different, but i have yet to see them), Jesus did not let himself be crucified so that we may find forgiveness in ourselves, but so that God could forgive us. That we as human beings were such awful, miserable people so far away from God's will that we needed the Son of Man to be murdered in the most horrible way so that God may forgive us and allow us into paradise and be "saved" from evil.

There is just way too much to that theology that makes me cringe. The simple truth is that I do not believe in the reality of "Sin", "Satan", and "Hell". They are theats used to control people and not an actuality as would be professed by an omnibenevolent God.

Let me explain. If you do not follow the creeds of the Church fathers, then you are labelled as "Sinful" and as such are against the will of God. Even more to the point that god will literally hold it against you. If you sin too much, then you are under the sway of the source of all evil, named "Satan", who will claim your fragile soul as his away from the beauty of God. And if you let yourself be taken by "Satan" and reject God in any way, then you will be sent to eternal damnation in "Hell".

Tell me. Does that sound like a spiritual truth? To me, it sounds like people in power crafting doctrines to keep people obeying their rules. And for some strange reason, it worked.

Mankind seems to have this strange tendancy of believing that only things outside of himself can bring him peace, and that there is no internal force to bring such a thing. In my experiences, I find the opposite true. Man is the creator of his own reality, his own life, and his own fate. In other words, Man is God.

The bible even teaches this same thing. Jesus stated this in John 10:34 "Is it not written in your law? I said: "You are Gods!""

Sadly, people don't want to believe that. They want to believe that they need a big daddy god to keep them safe and punish the people who do wrong in their eyes. And that is a damned shame.

The truth is that man is as powerful as he believes himself to be. And sadly, people in power saw that too and decided to take away that belief.

This is true for other faiths too. In the Neo-Pagan/Wiccan communities, most people believe that they need the right spell to manifest change in their lives. They need the right words to the spell, the right herbs or crystals or incense, the right garments, or the right entity to make the spell work. When in fact it is one's belief that makes a spell work and that the best spells are the ones that the magician makes for him/herself.

Even in modern secular world, people seem to think that they need the latest medications to make them healthy, the latest technology to make them happy, and the latest fashions to make them accepted. Ultimately all the healing, happiness, and good fortune one desires in found within in the Body, Heart, and Mind.

And yet, people still desire to have all the problems of this world illogically explained to them that an omnibenevolent god would allow for someone who disobeys him to spend eternity in an inferno or allow a terrible fallen angel of negativity to terrorize mankind with "sin".

Sadly, I am not explaining this very well, so I will end it here. Just remember that you do not need a daddy god to forgive you for anything you feel guilty of when you can forgive yourself just as easily.

LVX Amor!

On Dreams and Heroic Quests

"Dreams without actions are but fantasies" --Christopher Davis

I have had many interesting experiences that I could write about while at the same time, pushing my theology into it to make some sort of a point on developing or understanding personal power. Well I am not going to be doing that this time around. I am going to write about something much more personal and explain a little of my back-story in the process. So here goes.

We all have a calling in life. We all have a desire for wholeness, a hunch that we can do something great, an inkling that we can, through our own ability, inspire another to create a miracle. This is natural to our human nature and our nature as divine beings in physical form. We all want to do something that will make us remembered with fond memories. I have yet to meet one person who has not wanted this in some form, and I doubt that I ever will.

Well, ever since I was a wee tot raised on Disney movies, I too had a calling. I wanted to explore unknown regions of the world, have some sort of power over myself and others outside of me, and uncover a miracle. It has taken different forms throughout the years, but the desire has ultimately been the same. What has also been the same is little idea as how to become that mystical adventurer i had envisioned myself as.

Well, at fourteen, I discovered my own clairvoyant/clairaudient ability of mediumship, and began to regularly have psychic experiences that confirmed my impossible belief in magic and the unknowable. (Impossible as that sounds.) I spoke with the spirits of trees and lakes and the wind, and enjoyed a wonder for the world.

But instead of this empowering me, I felt more dis-empowered, for I did not understand this in the least, and it did not resolve my fantasy of uncovering mystery. I only heard these beings telepathically and at rare times could I make out an astral form as to what i was "speaking" with. Even worse, I was unaware of the fact that many spiritual beings have agendas of their own. And as such, I allowed myself to be deceived by many of the spirits I called my "friends" and "partners".

I felt a calling and had experiences to somewhat validate that calling, and as a result, I created intense fantasies around this calling of myself as some superhero archangel in human form, in love with a Greek god of sexual desire, on a mission to destroy a powerful source of all evil, and bring about a new age of wisdom. Even worse was that many of the spiritual beings I knew kept pushing those fantasies even deeper, as did normal humans whom wanted to believe in something extraordinary despite that I could hardly prove any of this. All I had were false visions and some misinterpreted verses from the Book of Enoch to try and prove myself.

All the while, I had been unemployed for over two years, had hardly any true friends, and no real direction in life. Despite my "dreams", I was not in a good state of mind or life.

It was only when a psychic and energy worker, that I greatly respected and wanted to impress, told me how "fluffy" I was, how I did not even understand my own power, and how much I could grow as a human being and as a person of power, that I started to grow up.

I slowly but surely relinquished my fantasies about being a superhero, my "relationship" with an astral being, my connections with the "gods" that told me of my "future", and what not, that my life as a Human Being on the Planet Earth began to greatly improve.

I now have a driver's license (when I was too scared to get one), a very rewarding job, a much better relationship with my family, a few real friends that I can actually count on, and some measurable success in my own psychic ability. And that is a lot better than having nothing but a fantasy.

I decided to write a novel of all my heroic fantasies instead (which is actually coming along nicely), and life actually makes sense. And I feel very empowered for that and am in a better position to teach and inspire others with my words.

However, despite all this new success, I have received omens that I do not completely understand. They do not fit into the picture of my life in a better stance of balance and joy that I had built for myself. I have been receiving dreams as to what I fear by my having power (of any kind, not just having some psychic gift), and that did not make sense.

I remember reading T. Thorn Coyle's weblog a few weeks ago to see her write how magical/mystical practitioners cannot remain in a lukewarm state of peace forever. That we need to keep challenging ourselves and our discomforts if we want to grow stronger and find ourselves in new brightness. And with these dreams, I remember this pagan mystic's words.

My dreams have centered around me either harming someone in my care despite my best intentions, failing to save someone from dying, being too distracted to prevent disaster, or simply having my best intentions being interpreted as threatening. And that has gone back to what I have always subconsciously feared about my developing any form of psychic or magical ability. That I will be corrupt. That I will be incompetant. That I will be too distracted to make a difference. Or that I will not be able to help if I am veiwed as contrary to what I stand for.

The fact that I am seeing these dreams obviously shows me that something is boiling underneath the surface. Something that is calling my attention.

With my Fairy Tale Tarot cards (they depict a different fairy tale on each card to help divine the meaning better), I took some quiet time and divined what I could from them. the answer I received shocked me very much.

I first asked: What are the subconscious issues within me currently. In response, I drew the Knight of Swords, which depicted one of my favourite stories: Hans Christian Andersen's The Twelve Wild Swans. In the card, one could see the Heroine's twelve brothers (cursed by their stepmother to become swans instead of men) carrying her in a net above the sea, and in the distance is the castle of a Magician whom gives the heroine the necessary means as to break the curse on her brothers.

I initially saw that card indicating some sort of internal journey i needed to take, but looking further into it, i saw something more. A warning of possible danger coming fowards. A need to prepare for the future with creative ideas. This was an answer I expected.

However, my curiosity was not quenched. I then shuffled my cards and asked: "What do I need to prepare for?", and then I drew the most positive card in the deck, The Sun. The Card depicted a lesser known story titled: The Three Animal Kings, at the ending where the heroes have won the day, freed from their curses and are with their wives greeting the morning light, full of joy and happiness. I needed no other explanation than that. But the answer shocked me all the same.

In seeing this I wondered to myself: "How do I come upon this everlasting joy?" and then drew one final card. It was the Page of Wands, depicting another not-so known story called: "Tatterhood". The story revolved around an ugly princess who travels the world protecting her beautiful sister from threats such as Giants and the like. She carries a large wooden spoon, which she uses as a club to harm her enemies, and rides upon a goat, in a tattered dress. Yet at the end, she is late for her wedding to a prince (her reward for saving the day), and when she arrives, the groom asks her why she carries a wooden spoon, rides a goat, and wears a tattered dress. In response, the heroine changes her spoon into a magic wand, her goat into a valliant steed, and her rags into a beautiful wedding gown, and she ends up more beautiful than her helpless sister.

Seeing all of this, a voice came to my mind and stated: "Follow your Dreams!". My questions had been answered with the most encouraging of omens.

The question now remaining: What dream to follow? What will make a difference in my life and bring me through that "Heroic Quest" towards that ultimate joy?

I do wish to complete my superhero novel, I do wish to bring joy to as many people as I can, I do wish to develop my magic to higher levels, I do wish to be on a life transforming journey apart from normal spiritual seeking, and I do with to be a shining light to others trapped in their own quagmire.

I do have an idea as to what path to ultimately take. Yet I am still unsure as how to get there.

Those are questions for another day. In the mean time, I do have an idea as to where I am headed, should I make the right choices.

So while I ponder over what direction my own seeking shall take me, I leave you with this. If you feel called to do something extraordinary... DO IT! If you want to make a difference in someone's life, I should hope you see it through and find everything you have searched for. If you have a dream, put some action into it, and see where it takes you. The time is now to make a change. You are God on Earth. You will find a way.

LVX Amor!

On "Positoovity" and Making a Difference

"Every Human Being is the Author of his own Health or Disease." --The Buddha

Today was a very good day for me. I awoke at dawn to watch the sun rise while smoking a cigarette and from there, the day flourished to create a wealth of wonderful experiences that have moved me in wonderful ways. And I am greatful to the ever present spirit of God/dess for bringing such beauty into my life.

I had three very notable experiences today that I wish to write about, but sadly, placing them all in one post would be long and tedious and very likely get me sidetracked from the points I wish to make. So the next few blog posts of mine will be related to the things I have experienced today that filled my being with Joy.

As my personal friends know, a month ago, I was hired by a local hospital as a CNA (Certified Nursing Aide) and I absolutely adore my job.

Despite working twelve hour night shifts (which sadly take time away from my magical and mystical pursuits), I have grown to love the place and (not trying to get too egocentric) have quickly become a beacon of light to most of the employees and patients that enter the facility with my high energy and what I hope to be compassion for my fellow man. I easily make my coworkers laugh and try my best to comfort my patients as they come in, and while it can be difficult at times (I have had to transfer several patients to Hospice and even had to do post mortem care on one patient who had died during my shift, and that is heart breaking) I try my best to ease the demons of the sick and injured and I do see improvements with them, which is always a good thing.

I even see a patient's fear and suffering manifest as astral entities furthering their pain, and i do what I can with my energy work and my spellcraft to clear the negativity and facilitate greater healing. And while doing so can be dangerous for my psychic health, I am fully convinced that what I do has an impact in people's lives.

Many of my coworkers have called me a "Damn Good PCA" or have stated that I am doing a wonderful job there, and what not, and I feel a sense of pride in what I do (even if that is constantly changing patient's diapers and linens). And through some form of divine providence, I am able to do my job while rarely being overworked and never getting tired enough to want to fall asleep. When I did a goofy little dance one morning (for the fun of it, cause that's how this Witch rolls) as my shift ended, a nurse saw me and joked that whatever drugs I am on that keep me so energetic, she wanted in her coffee.

And that is it right there. It is having a belief in the positive. That things will turn out right, no matter how confusing they may seem. That by believing you will experience happiness, you will create it in your life without question.

I have witnessed two remarkable patients at my hospital who have somewhat taken this philosophy to heart and despite all odds and illness, they have moved on in their lives to greater joy and autonomy.

One was a woman who was terminally ill with cancer and I had to deliver a pizza to her, not realizing how sick she was at the time. The delivery truck was downstairs and after bringing it up, i knock on her door and I hear the sweetest voice beckoning me inside. Not a hair on her head and a breast larger the other (obviously where the tumor was), and yet she was filled with the utmost zest for life. I gave her the pizza and she giggled like a little girl taking it and even offered me a slice as a "thank you" gift. She laughed and made small jokes and was the kindest person I had seen in the hospital at the time.

Needless to say that I was stunned beyond belief, for if I were under the same circumstances, i wouldn't know how to accept it. This woman was a hero to me because she was able to move past her Dark Night of the Soul and find peace within herself and could laugh about life with full force. It is people like that that move past their sicknesses and eventually recover from such disease.

A second patient was man whom had previously had both of his legs amputated (which for me would seem like a death sentence), and despite the lack of his limbs, he was still able to function like every common human being on the planet. He was able to put on his prosthetics with incredible ease, get out of bed, and then walk very fast around his hospital room without any trouble whatsoever. I found that to be truly incredible and was astounded to have walked past his room seeing his legs at the corner of the room with him in bed and then walk back there thirty minutes later to see him walking around with no difficulty whatsoever, never seeing the call light ring asking me to fetch his legs or anything. Which I found a little odd.

That is a miracle. One that he made for himself by embracing the positive and then attracting the circumstances into his life to create newfound autonomy out of helplessness.

I have stated that we are Gods on earth. A mortal vehicle for the eternal divine source. And that we create our realities constantly by our energy (be it thoughts or emotions). If we focus on what we want in our lives, we not only attract it, we actually create it in our lives. the same goes for what we do not want in our lives, but that is another story.

The buddhist quote above states it perfectly, and I could not agree with it anymore than I do now.

But it is not just one person's "Positoovity" effecting his own life, it can work on others too. I like to think that I have noticed that my attitude of Idealism and Empathy has a significant effect on the lives of my patients. A lit candle setting fires to other unlit candles. Spreading the light and the message of hope. An intense fire of conviction burning in the hearts of man that grows and illuminates all who come near.

Today, as I rode my bicycle to the local bank to withdraw some money, I was stopped on the nearby sidewalk by a man carrying groceries, waiting for the bus. He shouted something at me, and after just going over a bump in the sidewalk, I had feared that my wallet had fallen from my pocket, so I went over to this man to find that he had been one of my patients at work. Quite a shocker for me.

In the hospital, the man was not only bedridden, but also incontinent, but refused to wear a diaper out of embarrassment. He was in pretty bad shape, and I did my best to encourage his well being and be empathetic towards him, despite the fact that he annoyed his room mate. During the course of the night, he had an accident in his bed, and was very embarrassed by it, and I did what I could to be as kind and loving as I could while changing his sheets and cleaning him up.

Now this man could walk on his own, carry out errands on his own, and had enough spirit to be happy. He told me that he was thankful for the care I gave him when other nurses were not as kind to him and stated that I "Made a Difference" for him. His words not only filled me with pride and encouraged me to keep up my good work, but also gave me a sense of accomplishment. I was doing as God/dess guided me towards and had influenced a man's life for the better. That was worth all the money for the schooling and all the dirty diapers and sheets i had to change and will change right there.

What I am ultimately getting at is that through one's hope and faith that a brighter future will occur for hir, s/he not only creates a better life for hirself, but also brings a light in others as well and elevates them up with hir. It is a truly beautiful thing. One realized god reaching out to help another god on their path towards their highest ideals.

So believe in yourself and in your greatest good and then do an act of kindness each day out of the goodness of your heart and you will see the fulfillment that comes from it. I can't tell you how much that will help not only others, but also the self to new levels of awareness.

LVX Amor!

On Escapism and Fantasy

(Here is the second of two parts on making wishes, following desire, and manifesting one's dreams. I hope you enjoy.)

Two days ago I posted on the miracle of making a wish and seeing it come true. However, this post will not be as bright and cheery as the last one, as I will be discussing something very serious I see in regards to trying to fulfill one's wishes. The shadow side to hope, it would seem.

If you haven't gotten a hint from the title of this post, it is about relying too much on fantasy as a means of escape from the real world. I see this many times in my experiences with the young, and have been stuck in this very hole many long times.

I am a member of a website titled: www.mytelekinesis.com where i was formerly known as "Twilar Sylaethus", but changed my name to "Faerie_King" after complications arose which I will not delve into in this post. The site is a living forum on developing psychokinetic abilities and is mainly populated by pre-teens and teenagers wanting to become telekinetic or any of the other "Kinesis'". While it is a nice idea of people showing each other the ropes in learning psychic abilities, there are still many problems to overcome as far as the majority of the members.

You guessed it! Escapism from the real world delved into too much fantasy. I am not saying that psychokinetic phenomena does not exist. Far from it, I am a whole hearted believer in such things as I have seen it done as well as done some minor things in that area myself. The problem, however, is the beginner's attitude that developing a "Super Power" will somehow make all of one's problems go away and make them seemingly invincible. A few even developing the idea of becoming superheroes if advancing far enough in psychokinesis.

While one could argue that even comic book superheroes had problems just like all other people (just look at Spiderman always having to protect MJ Watson from Venom and Green Goblin), that is not the point I am trying to make.

We are a part of this world with all it's ups and downs. We are connected to each other, to the earth, to the cosmos, and every thing within creation. We are each a small cell in the body of the universe and there is no escaping that for all the dreaming we have.

We are a part of this earth with all of it's beauty and horrors, and there is no mistaking that. If the masses try to deny that, then Nature responds back with her power and it always ends bad for us. just look at the earthquakes and tsunamis in Japan or the recent tornadoes that have devastated mid-west town such as Joplin. People tried to escape their connection to this world in their power plants, technology, internet, and the like only to have it all destroyed in the blink of an eye. The real world did not care how disconnected these people were, but chose to bring them back to earth anyways.

(I am not saying that what happened is not tragic. Just looking at it from a different view point is all.)

While we can dream of a happier life filled with love and prosperity and make it come true, that does not mean that we can disconnect ourselves from this earth or that all of our problems will go away all at once or even at all. We will still have our lessons to learn, our parts in the cosmos to play, and the work of our divinity to uphold, and there is no escaping that.

Our sufferings strengthen us and help us to grow as human beings and as Gods. We learn nothing from cushy lives with no tribulations. I am not saying either that we have to play martyrs or that there is no hope for peace in our lives. I only say that we need not take a cowards way out.

We can make a life of our dreams if we so desire. We can have it all, but we cannot get away from being human on this earth. To think otherwise is fantasy.

To delve into impossibilities is fine and encouraged. Humans could never have invented helicopters and airplanes unless they dared to dream. But going too far into the impossible leads to fantasies of the realm of inflated egos and fear, and as a spiritual seeker, I try to avoid that. I need to keep my life in perspective, being able to reach into the heavens, yet keep my feet on the earth.

I suggest we all do the same.

LVX Amor!

On Wishing and Desire

This is first of two posts on the topic on making wishes, following desire, and manifesting our lives. The second post will be up tommorrow. Hope you enjoy.

Make a wish! That phrase has been one of my mantras my whole life. The idea that a mere man (or woman) need only state their desire to whatever being: Djinnis, Faery Folk, Stars, or even God and then see that very thing we wanted more than anything else in life come forth in our lives in such a way as to transform us completely from the person that we were (whether that person was happy and filled with Loving-Kindness or miserable and desperate for a miracle) into someone fulfilled and ready to be present in their lives; has been a big part of my life.

Every child has wished on birthday candles and the first star they see in the night sky, and some go even further and wish on eyelashes and four-leaf clovers (if they can find one). Whether it was for survival in a troublesome home, a need to create peace, prosperity, and joy in the family, or even to fulfill an impossible childhood dream, every child has done so. It is the mindset of the young to believe that their desires can be fulfilled merely by asking for them. Their hearts and minds have not yet been tainted by the troubles of stress and adulthood.

Well allow me to let you in on a little secret. We all should believe in the power of our wishes and desires. Just because we have to work for a living, deal with difficult people, and experience stress in our lives does not mean we should give up on what we want.

On a popular humour website called: The Onion, an article was written making fun of the idea of a man expecting to be happy in life, since (of course) life is the opposite of Happy and never will be anything contrary to that. (Sadly, it has been a while since i have seen that article, so sadly, I won't be able to post a link on it.) While such a thought may be funny to the cynical, (being such a mortifying idealist) I do not believe it describes what is truly possible in life; and it bothered me to see such pessimism towards our numinous lives on the Earth.

Christ stated: "Ask and Ye Shall Receive." Just a simple five letter sentence, yes? No! All of our lives here in this sacred physical world can be explained in this statement. It is simple. If you have a difficult situation in life you need help in, a problem needing to be solved, or even a desire that you believe would lead to greater fulfillment in your life, all you need to do is ask for it to be granted and it shall happen. In other words: Make a Wish! And yet, so few people (from zealous christians and atheists to people of the more magical persuasion) take advantage of this. We can have it all. The life of our dreams is in our reach, we need only claim it.

In fact, why not take it a step further and say that our dreams are already existing in our lives and that we have yet to realize them? That is what many teachers of both the physical and astral variety have taught me, and while I have rejected such a saying in the past, thinking it ludicrous, sice I was still miserable at the time, I have come to accept it as a reality. The thing is that, at least in my own life, I have wished for some big life changing events to give me a life filled with great power, unconstrained freedom, and divine grace, and it wasn't until years later that I realized that I had already received those things in my life, despite my own pessimism that I would never get them.

But why even stop at the idea that we make a wish to a distant figure to solve our problems or that God has already granted them? My personal theology is that all things in creation are the expression of God experiencing itself as to create a cosmic dance of bright and shadow, life and death, and joy and misery revolvling around itself, fulfilling itself, and loving itself. And with such an idea comes to the stand point that we ourselves are Gods. I tell my mentees constantly that our energy creates our lives and that all people have the potential to manipulate reality. I say this out of my own experiences in my thinking and wishing creating either more chaos or more harmony in my life.

As God, what I focus on becomes true in my own life. My energy simply acts as the catalyst for that change. As a teenager in Middle and High School, I suffered much bullying and discrimination being a gay student who obsessed over things like magic and astral beings. It came to the point that I did not see myself as beautiful or deserving of love. I believed that I was a "Fugly Fag" as a girl once called me. And as such, I focused on my own alienation while at the same time the idea of trying to prove myself to the people who mocked me, and as consequence, I attracted more and more situations into my life bringing me more misery and shame.

It wasn't until after High School and after a personal low in life that I rose up from my feelings of inadequacy and self loathing and then away from not noticing the blessings already in my life and being undeserving of any future boons for me, that i came out of my shell and truly saw that I was a very happy and funny person. As such, I stopped bringing into life the situations that made me feel like crap, and have begun living in a flow where my needs are met and life has become much simpler for me, yet more involved.

The same works for everyone. As Gods ourselves, our worlds are formed by what we wish them to be. But going further, specific acts of wishing can create miracles in our lives. It is truly a beautiful thing. And the best part? By focusing on a desire, stating it and trusting in our God Souls, we can manifest ANYTHING into our lives. It really is that simple.

LVX Amor!

On the Rapture and the Divine Self

Greetings Seekers of the Metaphysical, Psychics, Magicians, Mystics, and Searchers of Personal truth and the Divine. I welcome you to my Blog. Here I will be dicussing my own personal insights on Immanence, Psychic and Magical Devolpment, and the Soul's Divine Nature. I hope you enjoy what I write down and have your questions answered.

I would have started off with an introductory post about myself, my personal path and so on, but since Tommorrow, May 21st is supposed to be a momentous occasion, I thought that a post about it would be more appropriate. So here goes.

Instead of worrying about a Global Rapture bringing everyone into Heaven, how about a more personal "Second Coming"? The return of One's Divine Nature, the Elevation of one's Spirit, the Immanence of the Cosmos, and the Transcendence of One's inspiration.

People seem to get so worried about the end of physical reality, but allow me to be a little bit offbeat and suggest that physical reality will never end as it is continuously self-perpetuating. Even if Planets are destroyed, all that energy reforms to become new suns, new moons, and new earths. And our spirits and consciousness, even if they do not meet a transcendant plane of paradise, continue on to exist as part of the universe as wind, heat, rain, stone, and any other natural aspect of our universe.

I believe that the "Rapture" is Not a global return to God as we are already God able to create our reality in any form we choose. We are what we choose to be and our energy follows suit. We already have the immanent consciousness of all planes and the transcendence of spirit to speak with the Source.

The problem is twofold. First, the majority of people on earth are not aware of this consciousness in their daily material lives. That is ultimately why we practice Psychic Phenomenon, Energy Working and Magic in the first place. To Acheive and Perceive what we are not normally aware of.

Second, is that most people, out of their inability to perceive the Numinous, then go on to blame this world (which is truly glorious and filled with miracles) as the reason of their suffering and, as such, a mass escapist ideal is born of a world devoid of the suffering and hardship that we face, when in truth, these difficulties are what bring us the wisdom, power, and enlightenment we seek to become greater than what we perceive ourselves to be. It becomes a case of: "The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side, despite the fact that where I am now may be even better than I realize."

I have a different idea for a "Rapture" or "Second Coming". instead of the return of an objective God-form bathed in brilliance and so on come to punish the guilty and save the righteous; such a thing would be much more internal and mystical.

Magicians and Mystics from all across time have sought the personal communion of their personal Gods, Highest Selves, Augoeides, Daemons, and Holy Guardian Angels. And through devoted spiritual practice, forgiveness of themselves and their "sins", Dark Nights of the Soul, and facing personal demons, such people came to the unity with the Source in consciousness and soul; many even becoming saints in the process.

Ultimately, in my opinion, such practices coincide with modern ideas of "Second Comings" and "Raptures". The return of a God-form is nothing more than the personal experience of one's highest self. The punishment of "sin" being no more than the con frontation with one's personal demons and vices. The periods of facing hardship and fear boil down to intense dark nights of the soul. And the end result is the blessings and grace of a life lived in spirit.

Such a "Rapture" would be an intense and sudden awakening of such intensity as to shake the very foundations of one's consciousness and transform one's life utterly and completely. The acknowledgement of One's Divine Nature and a new life in the Glory of the Numinous. Such a thing would be Beautiful beyond words.

The Bible states that NO ONE knows when a second coming will take place, not even Jesus, the Angels of Heaven nor the "Enemy" himself, save for the Father. Well guess what? the Father, in our case, need not be a powerful king in the sky dictating judgment upon us lowly mortals, but instead be the gentle voice of our God Souls guiding us towards Beauty and Happiness. Not a commanding voice instilling fear, but a Joyful voice instilling Eros and Agape. The Desire for greater peace, truth, and illumination in our lives and the Charity to be a light in the darkness for all others.

Say what you will but I believe that there is more to the picture than an "End of Days", but instead a new beginning of days as Gods Ourselves.

LVX Amor!